Possession (2002) - 2 stars out of 10

Possession (2002) - 2 stars out of 10

“Possession” was… boring.  I don’t know how a story with so much potential can fall so flat, especially with Gwyneth Paltrow and Aaron Eckhart at the helm.  Netflix labels it as a thriller (which was the first misleading mistake) and, even though the synopsis didn’t seem very thrilling, that was my expectation.  I suppose that there were some thrilling moments like discovering a hidden letter in a doll house and discovering a cave behind a water fall, but let’s consider the maximum level of potential excitement in either of those things.  A lot of the momentum is lost by constantly shifting to uneventful flashbacks and even with Jeremy Northam appearing in the flashbacks (misleading mistake number two), it was still uninteresting.  I guess that some of the twists are interesting (sort-of), but overall this is a boring story with a boring script that will lose your attention after about 10 boring minutes.

Nova: Mystery of a Masterpiece - 8 stars out of 10

Nova: Mystery of a Masterpiece - 8 stars out of 10 

If you are a lover of art (or even have a small appreciation for it), “Mystery of a Masterpiece” is a must.  This documentary takes a suspenseful approach to the mysterious “La Bella Principessa,” a portrait believed to be priceless work by Leonardo DaVinci.  The film represents both sides of the argument, using a crime scene approach to examine the “physical evidence” on the portrait and the historical context to discover the subject’s identity.  It is almost hard to believe that this is true, from the type of animal skin used to the discovery of a fingerprint on the portrait and a mysterious book in Poland that might hold all of the answers.  You will find yourself rooting for this painting to be a DaVinci as the story progresses.  Whether you are a CSI fan, an art junkie, or someone that enjoys suspenseful films, Nova’s “Mystery of a Masterpiece” needs to be at the top of your list.

The Tower (2012) - 7 stars out of 10

The Tower (2012) - 7 stars out of 10

"The Tower" was far from what I expected.  While the synopsis looked interesting, the cheesy character interactions throughout the first 30 minutes of the film made me consider giving up... but they served their purpose perfectly.  About 15 minutes into the disaster portion of the film, I felt myself emotionally attached to the characters and truly concerned with their fate.  While the sometimes overly-cheesy acting at the beginning hinders it from being a memorable Morgan-Freeman-esque film, it still surpasses the typical expectation of a disaster film.  It seems that the film has some big names from the Korean acting community and I might have a different opinion if I were watching big name American actors play these parts, but as an outsider I was actually quite taken with all of the characters.  Outside of the impressive dramatic performances in the latter half of the film, the real reason to see this is for the special effects.  While it often feels like it took its inspiration from the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center, the plot is interesting and you will feel the fire through the tv.  It definitely creates some awesome moments of appreciation for fireman and the heroic ending is quite moving.  It isn't every day that you stumble upon a Christmas-Themed-Korean-Disaster-Film, but that's just all the more reason that you have to see this one.

The Andromeda Strain (1971) - 2 stars out of 10

The Andromeda Strain (1971) - 2 stars out of 10

I appreciate when films stay true to the book... but not at the expense of becoming horrifically slow and boring.  It should not take two hours to arrive at the first moment of excitement (i.e. the final 10 minutes of the film).  "The Andromeda Strain" is an interesting sci-fi story but it did not translate well to the screen.  90% of the story is made up of lab tests and data analysis while the only action occurs at the beginning and the end.  The design of the facility and operation of the equipment are important but it should not require an extended sequence to explain the minute details.  I would have loved to see a film "based on 'The Andromeda Strain'" that took the virus and showed how deadly it could be instead of merely studying it in a research facility the entire time.  I get that you can't just show the microorganism destroying things because the entire mystery of the film is discovering how and why it works, but there must be another way to tell this story that won't put me to sleep.  Maybe I just need to check out the Sci Fi Channel miniseries.

Talhotblond - 6 stars out of 10

Talhotblond - 6 stars out of 10

"Talhotblond" is a very creepy look into the world of cybersex, cyberbullying, and the psychological effects of living your life on the internet.  The story progresses through several disturbing themes.  The first is seeing a happy 47-year-old family man give into the temptations of the internet as he develops an 18-year-old identity (marinesniper) to begin a relationship with an 18-year-old girl (talhotblond).  The second is seeing his young coworker enter into an online relationship with talhotblond (whom neither man has met).  The third is the bullying that occurs when talhotblond discovers that marinesniper is 47.  The fourth is how this grown man psychologically assumes the identity of marinesniper when talhotblond talks about how she misses the person she believed she was talking to.  Somehow, this infatuation with talhotblond will directly lead to a real-life homicide.  The entire thing seems completely ridiculous and unbelievable, but this is nothing compared to the twist.  Once that is revealed, your mind will be completely blown.  The film tells the story through interviews and reiteration of the actual online dialogue on the screen.  The only real problem with this documentary is that, once the twist has been revealed, the resolution of the story drags on for way too long.  "Talhotblond" contains a lot of explicit language and uncomfortable sexual descriptions, but it is truly a wake-up call to the dangers of the internet and the psychological effects of cyberbullying.

The Dream Team - 7 stars out of 10

The Dream Team - 7 stars out of 10

"The Dream Team" is comic gold!  This film follows four loonies on a day-trip to Yankee Stadium that becomes a night on the town.  Films about mental patients typically involve at least one character who severely snaps and commits a murder (a la "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest") but this lighthearted film takes a different approach.  All of these characters are good-natured and the film focuses on how they build each other up instead of tearing each other apart.  The previous sentence makes the film sound horribly cheesy but it's actually quite entertaining.  The film is completely character-driven and each character is written so well that it is just as interesting to unravel the layers of each character as it is to unravel the resolution of the plot.  Michael Keaton plays the street-smart leader of the group and while he is edgy, I was always rooting for him.  Christopher Lloyd is probably the most impressive actor in the film as he undergoes the greatest transformation.  I love the way that his character is introduced at the beginning of the film before the truth is slowly revealed.  Peter Boyle is hilarious, believing himself to be the Messiah and getting into several awkward (and nude) situations.  Stephen Furst plays the straight man (in a sense) if there can be such a thing in a film like this.  Unlike a typical comedy, I call him the "straight man" because the quirks of the other characters cause all of the havoc and Furst is just the innocent character that meanders through it.  "The Dream Team" is just one of those late-80's comedies that needs to be on your list if you didn't catch it the first time around.

Death at a Funeral (2007) - 8 stars out of 10

Death at a Funeral (2007) - 8 stars out of 10

“Death at a Funeral” (the original British version) is a hysterical character-driven black comedy.  Even though I only have vague familiarity with a few of these actors, the script is so well written that the characters make the actors funny, not vice versa (as attempted by the American remake).  The script brings this group of connected characters to a wedding where a combination of secrets, grief, and drugs results in a lot of dark humor.  Black comedies usually are not my cup of tea but this one is so good that you can’t help but laugh.  Andy Nyman has a truly inspired performance as Howard, the unfortunate recipient of some mislabeled drugs.  His mannerisms and unseen hallucinations are convincing while always remaining comedic instead of dramatic.  My favorite character is Justin, the sleezy guy who just can’t take a hint and stop bothering his former one-night stand (who is now engaged to the naked Howard on the roof).  The best part of Justin is the revelation that causes him to give up.  Matthew MacFadyen actually delivers a pretty awesome dramatic/emotional performance amidst all of the chaos while Peter Vaughan is just plain hilarious in the role of Uncle Alfie.  “Death at a Funeral” is off-the-wall, unpredictable, and often inappropriate, but something about it is irresistible and worth watching.