The Conspiracy (2012) - 5 stars out of 10

The Conspiracy (2012) - 5 stars out of 10

"The Conspiracy" is an interesting addition to the found footage genre.  It is the latest in a series of Paranormal-Activity-With-A-Different-Subject-Matter films (“The Fourth Kind,” “Apollo 18”) that relies on the audience believing that what they are seeing is nonfiction.  Even if you figure out that the story is not legit, the film effectively builds suspense through its documentary-style footage.  Unfortunately, the ending does not live up to the expectation built throughout the first hour of the film.  The first problem is that it is basically like watching "Eyes Wide Shut" from a first-person perspective.  The cult meeting sequence is interesting and seeing it from a first-person perspective creates some chilling imagery, but it doesn't deserve any awards for originality.  A lot of the best moments of the film are a result of acting that feels natural and subtle.  As the movie progresses, you can't help but wonder how the story can possibly be resolved in a way that would allow the audience to see this censored footage of a secret society.  This is where the execution falls short of the concept.  Rather than a the entire film building to a climactic ending ala “The Blair Witch Project,” the writers kill the momentum with about five minutes remaining in order to explain the finding of the footage.  I did appreciate a little bit of ambiguity that keeps us thinking as the credits roll but it still felt terribly anticlimactic and a bit over-explained.  It is a shame because the rest of the film does a great job of not over-explaining and allowing you to put the pieces together yourself.  Even without a great conclusion, it is an interesting mindbender that delivers its story with a sense of authenticity.  “The Conspiracy” is worth watching for its unique story, memorable imagery, and that shocking moment in the shed.  Honestly, I just don’t think that there was a good ending for this story.

[Pictured; Even when you know that the ending is a disappointment, the story will keep you watching]

A Girl Like Her - 7 stars out of 10

A Girl Like Her - 7 stars out of 10

"A Girl Like Her" starts off feeling like a Lifetime movie but slowly develops into a gripping drama about a bully who pushes her target to the edge.  Every high school student should watch this movie.  It is a very real look at the psychological effects of bullying and how quickly it can escalate.  The characters may seem over the top at times but the scary thing is that they aren't actually exaggerated.  There are groups of high school girls that actually act this way.  One of the most important parts of the story is that it traces the development of teenage personality traits and morals to the parents.  Whether it is a dad pushing his son into sports in order to relive his own high school glory days or the “mean girl” mom whose daughter has inherited her attitude and disrespect for authority, the behaviors of many troubled teens are learned at home.  The film does a good job of manifesting this in Avery and contrasting her with Jessica, who gets her kindness from her all-star parents.  Another important moral in this story is that the bullies need help, too.  It is easy to assume that bullies are heartless evildoers but often times, their bullying is a reaction to an issue in their own lives.  This mockumentary isn't going to win any Oscars but it is extremely effective for what it is.  The producers were tedious in creating a sound rationale for every minute of footage by incorporating a documentary crew, a hidden bodycam, and video on a personal still camera into the story.  This is enhanced by using different camera angles and video quality for each of these recordings.  You wouldn’t expect much in the acting department because the lead girls have built their resumes on soap operas but Hunter King gives an unexpectedly raw performance.  She is so easy to hate for the majority of the film as she puts on a stereotypical mean girl performance.  Then, the progression of guilt begins.  The layers are quickly peeled away as we begin to see Avery’s insecurities, understand why she acts the way that she does, and finally see her devastating regret.  You would never expect to feel any sort of empathy for Avery throughout the first half of the film but the final 10 minutes are vivid with one of the most realistic crying breakdowns that I have ever seen onscreen.  “A Girl Like Her” is a powerful piece that will make anybody reexamine the way that they treat others and should become a material that will spark important conversations among high school students.

[Pictured: The bodycam angles bring back all of your least favorite memories from high school]

Finding Dory - 10 stars out of 10

Finding Dory - 10 stars out of 10
1400th review

Like many film cynics, I did not want a sequel to "Finding Nemo."  Sequels (especially Disney animated sequels) are historically a low-quality attempt to squeeze more capital out of a successful Disney property.  After much skepticism and a complete lack of desire to see this film, I'm glad to admit that I was wrong!  "Finding Dory" is a worthy continuation of this beloved story and I am so glad that it happened.  That being said, I still prefer the original story.  This sequel focuses on the same family and friendship themes that make "Nemo" so heartwarming but I find that a father rescuing his son was a little more effective than a forgetful fish searching for her parents.  While there is some merit to the criticism that it is the same basic story as the first one, the film branches off in all of the right directions.  The focus on Dory shifts the conflict from “fish vs. ocean” to “fish vs. her brain.”  The incorporation of flashbacks, the baby Dory character, and an element of mystery all within the context of an oceanic journey makes the story feel completely unique.  Also, instead of being trapped in a small fish tank with four characters, Dory is able to explore an entire marine park with a variety of settings and many new species.  The film pays tribute to old favorite characters while focusing on (arguably) better ones.  The movie wouldn't have felt right without Crush and Mr. Ray but there is only so much that you can do with those two before it becomes repetitive.  Conversely, Hank is a much more dynamic character whose depth of personality and complex visual design opens him up to endless possibilities.  He is one of the greatest characters in animation history from a technical perspective.  There is a great YouTube video that details the complexity of animating his seven arms with independent movements (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nn0S2vmSCU0) and his erratic movements are fascinating to watch.  Hank’s camouflaging abilities serve as a comedic device as well as one more layer of his complexity.  In addition to his technical execution, this character is vital to explaining the significance of the orange tag, helping to transport Dory, and the recipient of his own important emotional transformation.  He is reason enough to see this film.  Other newcomers include the giant crying clam, the sea lions, an over dramatic beluga whale, a nearsighted whale shark, and Becky, the best character in the movie.  Each one has their moment to help the main characters in their journey, and you will just love Becky’s moments in the spotlight.  The script is very well written (you wouldn’t expect Sigourney Weaver jokes to fit so perfectly into the story) and the seashells got me bad.  The writers perfectly set you up for that moment of realization where the puzzle pieces suddenly fit together and you realize how the journey will end.  Good luck holding the tears back during this one.  The voice actors are perfectly cast to bring this script to life, from those reprising their roles (Ellen and Albert Brooks) to newcomers that create distinctive personalities for their characters (Eugene Levy as Dory’s father, Ty Burrell as Bailey, and of course Ed O’Neill as Hank).  The music also plays an important role in the story, from the sting rays’ interesting taste in choral music to Sia's perfect minor rendition of the song Unforgettable.  It is the most clever dark remix since Lana del Rey's Once Upon A Dream for “Maleficent."  “Finding Dory” has succeeded at capturing the warmth of “Nemo” with a fresh (though similar) story, memorable characters, and second-to-none computer animation that will make you believe that you are actually under water.  I truly believe that the quality of Disney and Pixar’s output had made every other animation studio obsolete.

[Pictured: Hank single-handedly proves Pixar's dominance in computer animation]

Thumbelina (1994) - 2 stars out of 10

Thumbelina (1994) - 2 stars out of 10

I have scoffed at the idea of watching “Thumbelina” since it came out 22 years ago and I wish that I had left it unseen.  There is absolutely nothing for adults or boys in this film.  The entire film feels like a jumbled mess with dialogue that leaves something to be desired and important moral lessons (like “Don’t get mixed up with Latino singing and dancing frogs that promise to make you a celebrity).  After successful films like “An American Tale” and “The Land Before Time,” this trainwreck introduced the fallibility of Don Bluth and was the first in a string of box office failures.  Even at its lowest, Disney never released this sort of drivel into theaters.  Disney may have stooped pretty low with some of their direct-to-video sequels but at least they were self-aware enough to outsource them to a lower-budget branch and forego the theater.  All that I really want to know is why the narrator (Jacquimo) is French.  Hans Christian Anderson, the story’s author, is Danish.  The original fairy tale makes no reference to France.  The movie doesn’t take place in France.  None of the other characters are French.  So why does the script make such a big deal about Jacquimo being French?  I suppose that the writers were trying to create their own Lumiere with this character and it isn’t the only instance that this film tries to copy Disney.  The narrating character, singing animals, animation style, and even the casting of Jodi Benson (Ariel) in the lead role scream “Disney Rip-off.”  Then Gilbert Gottfried (Iago) pops in to drive the point home.  “The Lion King” got Elton John.  This movie got… Barry Manilow?  Disney seems to be a step ahead at every turn.  The cast list is full of celebrities including John Hurt and Carol Channing.  The true mystery is how they suckered this many stars into a movie like this.  Gary Imhoff’s singing voice sounds very shouty in the low range and the vibrato in his high register, while beautiful, doesn’t match the appearance of his character.  The story is just a bunch of characters (including a prince, a toad, and a mole) trying to marry her and another set of characters (including a beetle and a toad) trying to exploit her for her singing voice.  It’s boring and kind of disturbing, all at the same time.  I’m just trying to figure out why everybody wants to marry her.  She is kind of a brat.  On top of that, there are so many unnecessary characters.  It's like the writers and animators had a brainstorming session and just decided to keep everyone, even if they only got to be in the movie for two minutes.  The musical ballads are kind of nice but not nice enough for them all to be repeated multiple time throughout the film.  Except for “Marry the Mole.”  Once was enough for that song.  It is really difficult to find anything good to say about this film and worst part is that I probably would have given it the same review at age 9.  “Thumbelina” is visually appealing but the story, characters and music all feel like a mistake.  Even direct-to-video Disney sequels are better than this.

[Pictured: An annoying small person and a inexplicably French bird in the middle of a Danish story - what could possibly go wrong?]

Mrs. Doubtfire - 9 stars out of 10

Mrs. Doubtfire - 9 stars out of 10

“Mrs. Doubtfire” is a perfect blend of comedy and drama.  It also contains an incredibly creepy concept that our minds manage to accept because of the good intentions of the film’s main character.  Obviously, this film is all about the contrasting roles played by Robin Williams.  One is an irresponsible father in the middle of an ugly divorce.  The other is a 70-year-old British nanny with a spunky-yet-nurturing personality.  But the character of Mrs. Doubtfire also operates on two levels: the nanny who is taking care of the children and the man underneath the costume who must learn to take care of a house.  Though the film seems goofy on the surface, Williams deserved an Oscar nomination for this impressive multifaceted performance.  His antics are perfectly offset by Sally Field, who brings deep emotion to every role that she has ever played.  Pierce Brosnan’s character is well-written as he creates competition for Williams but never does anything that would prove him to be malicious or unlikable.  The dramatic moments are very dramatic, with yelling and crying that will tug at your heartstrings.  The comedic moments are hilarious, from the “Dude Looks Like a Lady” nannying montage to the entire sequence with the court liaison and the pie.  The key to the film is the balance between the two.  The comedy never interrupts the drama too suddenly and vice versa, so that our tears are always rewarded with laughs but in the perfect proportion.  Audiences responded well to the film, making it the second highest grossing film of 1993, only falling behind the cultural phenomenon of “Jurassic Park.”  Critical reception was mixed and I’m surprised by its Oscar win for Best Make-Up, considering that it was competing against two of the year’s most acclaimed films (“Schindler’s List” and “Philadelphia”).  Still, the test of time always speaks louder than the commentary of critics and “Mrs. Doubtfire” remains just as popular today as it was when it first came out.

[Pictured: Williams creates an endless number of layers to his characters]

Bulworth - 3 stars out of 10

Bulworth - 3 stars out of 10

“Bulworth” is a political comedy that lies somewhere between clever and absurdity (but closer to absurdity).  The concept is clever: a suicidal politician is beyond caring about the façade required to gain campaign contributions and to win an election, so he becomes truthful in the most politically incorrect ways possible.  The cast list also indicates greatness with Warren Beatty and Halle Berry in the starring roles, as well as Oliver Platt, Don Cheadle, and Larry King in supporting roles.  However, there is a disconnect between the expectation and the execution.  From “Bonnie and Clyde” to “Dick Tracy,” I approach Beatty’s films with a high expectation.  His name frequently appears on the Oscar ballot from a directing and acting standpoint, but he doesn’t generally get there by dressing up in gangster clothes and rapping during a political debate.  I know that anything usually goes in a comedy but if I listed half of the things that happen in this movie, you would dismiss it immediately.  I believe that a combination of comedy and drama could have made this film believable while exploring the concept in a lighthearted way.  Instead, the story is over the top, we feel no empathy towards the characters, and the story feels like the same gag over and over again.  I absolutely disagree with its Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay.  The script works against the story, sacrificing intellectual satire in favor of relentless profanity.  The rapping was a comical plot device and I understand that there are parts of the story that require strong language to make the content believable; however, the language was often unnecessary and I longed for a momentary break.  Whether it is an impassioned political interview or the background music in the club, this movie is a never ending stream of f-words.  Profanity with the sole intention of creating shock value never resonates well with me and, even though this film has some interesting moments, the profanity is the only thing that will stick with me.  Even though the critics liked it, I am not surprised that Beatty hasn’t directed a film since this one wrapped nearly 20 years ago.  Watching him rap about politics feels like watching his acting career and Bulworth’s political career both reaching a symbolic level of absurdity.  I suppose that many people “get” this film in a way that I don’t, but “Bulworth” seems like a waste of talent and a waste of time.

[Pictured: Need I say more?]

Muse: Live at Rome Olympic Stadium - 10 stars out of 10

Muse: Live at Rome Olympic Stadium - 10 stars out of 10

Muse is one of the greatest rock/heavy metal bands of all time.  They are the most innovative group since Queen, using modern technology to create the unique sounds that make them instantly recognizable.  Like Queen, the band sets itself apart through high tenor lead vocals and shredding guitar solos, both provided by Matt Bellamy.  Another distinctive characteristic that sets these two groups share is their frequent inclusion of piano/synthesizer parts amidst the hard rock style.  The DVD, “Live at Rome Olympic Stadium,” captures the incredible display of the showmanship and jaw-dropping virtuosity of this group.  While all of the tight vocal harmonies cannot be reproduced as they are on the record (since Bellamy often layers several vocal tracks together), the harmonies still exist through the synthesizer part.  I greatly appreciate that they don’t cheat by sampling prerecorded vocal harmonies during this live performance (with the exception of the “Madness” ostinato).  We still get to hear the expected harmonies while the performance remains entirely organic.  This live performance will help you to understand which harmonies are typically provided by bassist Chris Wolstenholme and which ones are layers of Bellamy’s voice.  I was a little disappointed at the addition of f-words into a few of their songs just to get an audience response.  Of all the bands out there, they is the last one that would need to add in a few shock-value swear words to enhance their performance.  For me, the climax of the entire concert occurs during Guiding Light with all three band members delivering a high-energy performance from the center platform.  The simplicity of this particular piece allows for a strong connection between the band and the audience.  Other highlights include Bellamy sprinting up and down the runway while playing the epic Plug In Baby solo, the theatrics of Feeling Good, watching Wolstenholme play his touch-pad, pitch-bending bass on “Madness,” the band’s interactions with audience members on the floor while performing, and the flawlessness of the entire show.  Muse is an incredible studio group but you cannot truly appreciate their virtuosity until you have seen them perform in person or in this “Live at Rome Olympic Stadium” epic concert recording!

[Pictured: Matt Bellamy is the best guitarist of our generation]