God's Not Dead - 4 stars out of 10

God's Not Dead - 4 stars out of 10

“God’s Not Dead” lies somewhere between low-budget Christian films and normal films.  This film’s association with “Heaven Is for Real” (based solely on them being released at similar times) gave me a false expectation as far as quality is concerned.  While the acting of Shane Harper and Kevin Sorbo is excellent, many of the other actors were downright bad (particularly the girlfriend and the blogger).  That being said, they did not stand in the way of this film’s powerful message.  “God’s Not Dead” is worth watching solely for the classroom debate scenes and will make you question how much you would risk to stand up for your beliefs.  The film could have survived with a few less characters and side stories, but I am really impressed with the connections that are revealed between all of the characters.  A lot of films wait until the end to reveal the complex web of connections, but these writers divulge the associations throughout the story so that we are constantly surprised.  Low-budget Christian films are typically cheesy and predictable but, in spite of a few cheesy moments, the script kept me guessing and really shocked me several times.  I applaud the writers for their “big picture” approach to this story, even if some of the dialogue and acting was questionable.  This rating reflects the quality of “God’s Not Dead” in comparison to the great films of all time, but a film doesn’t have to get 10 stars for it to be worth seeing.  You won’t want to miss this one.

The Spectacular Now - 3 stars out of 10

The Spectacular Now - 3 stars out of 10

“The Spectacular Now” was anything but spectacular.  This snoozefest has some of the least believable acting and one of the worst scripts ever.  While the ending is poignant and the events leading up to it are important, the first 75 minutes are so bad that the conclusion loses its effectiveness.  This could have been one of the best coming-of-age endings since “Dead Poets Society” but instead, I question what percentage of people actually makes it to the end.  The first issue is the script.  There are moments that seem as if a teenager wrote it.  “I got into college.”  “You got into college?  That’s awesome!”  “Yeah, it’s pretty cool that I got into college.”  Who says that?  I was so confused when this film spoke in generalities.  Wouldn’t these characters find it important to mention which college?  What is the significance of Aimee being accepted into a college in Philadelphia if we have no clue what state they live in?  It could be in the south or it could be in Ohio for all we know.  Or my favorite: “You are the school’s star athlete!”  So… football?  Basketball?  Track?  Why does this character have to be a generic athlete?  What does this film gain by creating awkward dialogue to leave out details like the name of their school?  The second issue is the actors.  The director wanted to create a candid effect through simple dialogue and long tracking shots.  It felt like they were trying to replicate “Before Sunrise” with teenagers, but these actors simply do not have the acting chops of Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.  Instead, Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley put on bland performances with flirtation so boring that it would not attract anybody.  The shame is that Woodley gives Aimee that "cute factor" and Teller has some amazing moments toward the end, but they are all overshadowed by the blandness that the script forces on them.  My largest issue with this film is the content.  This is basically the story of an alcoholic teenager who corrupts a nice girl in order to find himself, and everything works out in the end.  What message is this sending to moralistic teenage girls?  Why can’t Hollywood tell girls that they should help a jerk to become a better person, or better yet, try to find a nice guy instead of a jerk.  Why do we paint a picture that nice girls should lower their standards to find love?  This issue goes all the way back to “Grease” in the 70’s and our society simply has not learned because of these influences.  The critics loved the idea of this film but I think that they confused the final product for its potential.

[Pictured: Teller and Woodley make a much cuter couple when they aren't talking]

The Emperor's New Groove - 6 stars out of 10

The Emperor's New Groove - 6 stars out of 10

“The Emperor’s New Groove” is an oddity of the Disney canon.  The film is completely entertaining but lacks the storyline and character development of the beloved Disney classics.  This film was a production mess and it shows in the story’s complete lack of direction.  The initial concept of this film (when it was going to be called “Kingdom of the Sun”) was supposed to amount to a musical epic of Lion King proportions; instead, we are left with an unimpressive journey whose jokes are distracting and often used to draw our attention away from the (lack of) plot.  Examples include: Kuzco’s narration that interrupts the flow of the story in order to cross out characters with whiteboard markers, Kuzco (the character) arguing with Kuzco (the narrator), Pacha’s sitcom family, and an old man whose only purpose is to be thrown out of a window.  While the jokes are funny, they are only included because the story is not strong enough to be funny in its own rite.   This is a shame because this cast of voice actors is outstanding.  Patrick Warburton creates one of the funniest animated performances of all time as Kronk.  I will continue to watch this film over and over just for him.  His timing is perfection and, while much of Kronk’s humor is used to give the audience something memorable in lieu of a strong plot, you simply have to love his self-created theme music and interest in cooking.  David Spade’s voice is ideal for the bratty Kuzco and you really can’t go wrong with John Goodman.  I also love that the directors gave nods to a few Hollywood stars of yesteryear with Eartha Kitt as Yzma, Tom Jones as the Theme Song Guy, and John Fiedler (Piglet) in a cameo as the old man.  In the end, this is all overshadowed by the production issues and the new non-musical direction of Disney.  “Tarzan” began the trend with its musical sequences playing in the background instead of being sung by the characters, but this film eliminated the musical sequences completely.  “The Emperor’s New Groove” is full of entertaining moments and slapstick jokes but, with a plot that goes nowhere and a main character that is intentionally dis-likable, it lacks the magic that we have come to expect from Disney animated films.

[Pictured: Kronk, the real reason to watch this film]