Penelope (2006) - 1 star out of 10

Penelope (2006) - 1 star out of 10

I don't know if anything entertaining occurred during this movie because I just couldn't get over the fact that she had a pig nose.  This movie was simply ridiculous (in a bad way).  I don't understand how they got Reese Witherspoon and Catherine O'Hara to sign on for this movie... they must have owed the writer a favor or something.  I'm glad that this movie boosted McAvoy's career, though this seems so far below him after seeing him  act in movies like "Atonement" and "Becoming Jane."  Amidst the dorky things in the movies were the You Are My Sunshine montage, cheesy mother/daughter dialogue, and the ENTIRE PLOT.  And why did the antagonist have to be a midget?  What did that add to the movie?  In fact, the ONLY part that I enjoyed was the brief dialogue about how the one girl that was born wasn't from the husband.  And that was in the first 3 minutes!  I feel that there need to be more family-friendly movies out there, but "Penelope" was absolute garbage and held no cinematic value.

W.E. - 4 stars out of 10

W.E. - 4 stars out of 10

"W.E." surprised me twice.  First, I was surprised that something whose previews looked so promising (I even predicted several Oscar nominations) could be so dull.  But then, I was even more surprised that the paralleling stories redeemed this film in the end.  At first, I felt as if it was "The Hours" gone completely wrong, with its constant shifting between stories separated by 60 years and Phillip Glass-like soundtrack giving it a copycat feel; however, the fact that they didn't draw direct, obvious parallels between the two women's lives kept it from feeling TOO much like "The Hours."  The parallels seem more like happenstance as they aren't presented chronologically with the other story, leaving the audience to connect the things that happened early in one character's life with ones that happened later in the other character's life.  That being said, Madonna's directorial feature is still a partial disaster.  The first half of this film wanders around in circles and I was completely lost.  I'm pretty sure that the cast, director, and writers were completely lost, as well.  The story of Wallis Simpson and King Edward is fascinating and I would have much rather seen a biopic than this creative approach.  The actors are alright, but there were really only two reasons to watch this film:  1. It is a really interesting supplement to "The King's Speech" as these stories align, and 2. The letter reading scene is magic.  That scene truly makes this film completely worth watching, pulling the stories together by intertwining Wallis Simpson's hardships that she endured for her love with Wally Winthrop's challenging decision in modern times.  It is debatable whether the horrid first 1/2-hour of the film is worth watching in order to have the letter reading scene be so poignant, but I'd probably give this film another shot with a low expectation.

Fallen - 5 stars out of 10

Fallen - 5 stars out of 10

"Fallen" provides a few creepy moments but never lives up to its interesting premise or the reputations of its three leads.  While I was skeptical about the idea of a supernatural crime thriller, but it managed to work by having a demon possessing different people to create a string of murders.  The film is at its finest when the demon hops between several people, revealing its host by singing "Time Is on My Side" by the Rolling Stones.  There is a decent mystery behind the copycat killer (who of course is the demon in different bodies), but the jumping between bodies becomes pretty tiresome after a while.  While you'll know that something is up at the end, the huge twist will still shock you when it happens.  I can't say that I hated this movie because it had some cool concepts and unexpected turns, but I found myself confused for a lot of it and think that the execution could have been better.  It's worth watching but shouldn't be bumped up to the top of your list any time soon.

We Bought a Zoo - 10 stars out of 10

We Bought a Zoo - 10 stars out of 10

"We Bought a Zoo" is that family-friendly film with cinematic integrity that we have been craving for so long!  Although some liberties have been taken from the real life events, this stories carries a poignancy that will touch your heart through a widower who is doing his best.  Each character has depth and potential for growth, including Matt Damon as the grieving father, Colin Ford as the stubborn teen, Maggie Elizabeth Jones as the cute-as-a-button daughter, and Scarlett Johansson as the overworked (and completely gorgeous) zookeeper.  The film blends the humor and cute animal moments that children love with dramatic overtones that will ring with adults without creating a dark mood.  J.B. Smoove is hilarious as the real estate agent and John Michael Higgins' character is very well written, but the family provides the driving force to emotionally engage audience members with their tragic and oft-frustrating circumstances.  I can testify to this empathetic experience as I cried several times throughout the movie, touched by the family's ability to overcome adversity by sticking together (the design for the zoo reopening poster) and the unexpected happy resolution.  "We Bought a Zoo" is clean family fun while providing adults with a little more than a stagnant plot and fart jokes.

Public Enemies - 8 stars out of 10

Public Enemies - 8 stars out of 10

Who is the protagonist and who is the antagonist?  I love it when this becomes completely blurred and the audience is faced with a moral dilemma to root for the good guy or the bad guy.  "Public Enemies" sports an all-star cast to tell the story of crime lord John Dillinger.  Great action scenes mixed with drama create a seamless plot that makes 140 minutes feel like less than an hour and leaves you desperate for more.  Michael Mann did a great job molding this dramatic showcase.  Marion Cotillard is seductive and enchanting from the moment that she meets Johnny Depp.  Christian Bale brings a lot of intensity to this film, though I wish that we would've gotten to see more of him.  Whether you're a fan of Depp or just love a great plot, this is a movie that you will thoroughly enjoy.

Haywire - 6 stars out of 10

Haywire - 6 stars out of 10

"Haywire" is an average Hollywood action film, but it's actually an incredible excuse to stare at Gina Carano (Crush from American Gladiators) for 90 minutes while she beats up a bunch of guys.  Although she is an MMA fighter, she did well with this role and it was not obvious that she's not an actress.  Any time that Steven Soderbergh's name is mentioned, I immediately compare the film at hand to "Ocean's Eleven."  That is never a fair comparison because Ocean's is such an incredible film, but when compared with films like the uber-boring "Contagion," this is a vast improvement.  It has that classic Soderbergh twist just when you think that it is a straightforward plot without anything to hide.  My favorite feature of the film (aside from the obvious hottness of Carano) is its logical use of flashbacks to tell her story.  It completely makes sense for her to tell her story to the young guy in the car.  I also appreciate the fact that it never overdoes the amount of action.  With Carano in the leading road, it would've been easy to throw in as many action sequences as possible, but Soderbergh uses moderation to make the intense fight sequences count.  It isn't "Die Hard," but "Haywire" is an enjoyable 90 minutes of action and intrigue.