Saturday, October 26, 2013

Mallrats - 6 stars out of 10

Mallrats - 6 stars out of 10

"Mallrats" is the second film in Kevin Smith's "View Askewniverse" canon and is much more successful than "Clerks" at being entertaining from start to finish.  Like its predecessor, it is a true homage to monotony but manages to avoid boring moments.  The film also has a higher visual quality because of its obviously higher budget.  It is great in all of its 90's glory.  Not as glorious as "Clueless," but it still takes you back to that era.  It is so dumb but still so entertaining.  My favorite part of the entire film is Ethan Suplee staring at the 3D picture.  Every time that it cuts back to him at that picture, it gets funnier.  I enjoyed his inclusion with future "My Name Is Earl" co-star Jason Lee.  I love all of the Star Wars references, and Jason Lee's obsession with the kid on the escalator.  This is easily the best role that I have ever seen Lee in, melding coolness with over-the-top stupidity.  Shannen Doherty delivers my favorite dialogue of the film with incredible spunk when she screams at Lee on the elevator.  It is worth watching the entire film for that single moment.  Let's not forget how amazing Claire Forlani and Joey Lauren Adams looked.  I didn't expect to encounter so many great characters, though I did anticipate bumping into Jay and Silent Bob again.  They are just too hilarious.  Even Renee Humphrey as "Trish the Dish" was great in her sassy-ness.  Even though there are a ton of small characters in this film, few of them receive more than 10 minutes of screen time and yet each is memorable and adds to the story.  Ben Affleck is the only one that didn't add anything.  He couldn't even act back then and is just as annoying as ever.  While I love the characters and the story, there is just way too much language in this film.  I would much prefer to watch this on tv as the language and intense sexual content in the dialogue become way too much after a while.  I really did not enjoy the fortune telling scene, but the film is worth watching if you skip past the nudity.  You definitely have to be in a certain mood to enjoy these films, so get into that goofy mood and you'll just laugh through the entire film, regardless of how stupid it gets.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Clerks - 4 stars out of 10

Clerks - 4 stars out of 10

I was very frustrated with this film until the final 12 minutes, when suddenly everything came together.  It isn't one of those clever films where you are viewing random, seemingly unrelated events only to see how they all connect to each other in the very end; instead, the events ARE random (not to mention mundane and inherently boring), but necessary to an ending in which the characters transition from perpetually stupid to philosophical.  I'm torn on this, because I really did not enjoy the first 70 minutes of the film but understand their necessity to the proper ending.  I'm not going to give "Clerks" a high rating, but will still recommend it because of the entertainment provided by the final 12 minutes of dialogue.  In fact, I think that the annoyed feeling that you develop toward the stupidity of the characters is what makes their transition to a philosophical group so entertaining.  I have to compliment SOME of the dialogue of the film.  Although I was annoyed with more than 50% of the dialogue because they just talked about sex way too much for me to enjoy it, the other percentage felt like a very natural conversation.  The highlight of the film for me is Marilyn Ghigliotti's final monologue in the convenience store.  I just sat in astonishment.  She was my favorite character for the majority of the film, but she sealed her spot in my heart with the fire in her eyes.  She is basically unknown outside of this film but her performance simply blew my mind.  I did enjoy the chemistry between Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson though neither is a fantastic actor.  Still, O'Halloran deserves a prize for wearing a Penguin jersey during the roof hockey scene.  Although so much of this film is just dumb and pointless, one aspect of the script lends itself perfectly to dump and pointless: Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you with Jay and Silent Bob.  They are so entertaining and I'm glad that they became more of a focus as Kevin Smith's series progressed.  To be honest, now that I have seen the entire film and understand the endpoint of this film., I think that I might actually enjoy the first 3/4 of it the next time that I watch it.  Although much of this film is pointless (and should probably only be half-watched while doing something else), it is a great start to the "View Askewniverse" that has a unique place in the world of cinema.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Cadet Kelly - 2 stars out of 10

Cadet Kelly - 2 stars out of 10

...You never realize how cheesy these Disney Channel Original Movies are until you rewatch them as an adult.  Even just looking at the DVD cover, I should have known better.  The film does precisely what it was designed to do: It is a family-friendly film with plenty of cheesy laughs and a stepping stone for Hilary Duff toward the big screen.  I'm still trying to figure out who thought it was a good idea to make Gary Cole ("Office Space") into a military general, though I suppose that all common sense gets thrown out the window when creating a made-for-tv movie.  Regardless of the acting, the story literally induced my gag reflex on a few occasions.  The story sets itself up to be cheesy but the characters could have developed through realistic circumstances.  There is no need for the typical “father is trapped on the side of a cliff so the main character has to use everything that she has learned throughout the film to rescue him” routine.  The ending also goes an unnecessary distance beyond “reasonable cheese,” leaving that sense of wasted time as the credits role.  I love Hilary Duff but I much prefer her “real movies” over this hogwash.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Oblivion (2013) - 3 stars out of 10

Oblivion (2013) - 3 stars out of 10

I wanted to love "Oblivion," but I just couldn't.  While I love post-apocalyptic settings, this film was more sci-fi than I expected and it just went in the wrong direction for me.  I would really like to revisit this one with a new expectation but for now, poor rating.  This story has some very interesting twists as we navigate its many layers but I can't help but feel that the screenplay could have told this story in a less confusing manner.  Additionally, there was not enough Morgan Freeman.  I realize that there is NEVER enough Morgan Freeman, but his 20 minutes on screen wasn't enough to justify putting him on the film poster and using him as bait to lure us into the theater.  Tom Cruise has a pretty typical performance and Olga Kurylenko brought the perfect amount of mystery into the film.  I have no problem recommending this film - it's an average sci-fi film but can at least give you a new concept to wrap your head around.