Storage 24 - 3 stars out of 10

Storage 24 - 3 stars out of 10

“Storage 24” is infamously the lowest grossing American theatrical release of all time, bringing in a whopping $72 before being released on DVD.  In the movie’s defense, it did gross over $600,000 worldwide; still, it’s pretty hilarious that its entire American profit was $72 earned in a singular theater.   Outside of its infamous statistic, “Storage 24” is a formulaic horror film that falls somewhere between a big-budget and low-budget film.  Its storage facility setting is unique and it is fairly easy to buy into the far-fetched plot.  Even though it has a few unique aspects, it also has the stereotypical undeveloped characters who are picked off one by one with only a few standing at the end.  In this particular instance, we don't care about what happens to the characters. We just care about the answer to the mystery… which we never actually get.  I did like the ending but it feels incomplete without a few explanations.  Outside of the story, the CGI definitely exceeded my expectations.  When I heard the previously mentioned box office statistic, I was absolutely anticipating a film of “Birdemic” proportions.  In actuality, the film was made on a decent budget.  It just seems that the budget was spent on special effects instead of being invested in assembling a team of quality actors and writers.  “Storage 24” is honestly an okay scary movie.  Its story won’t blow your mind and its actors leave something to be desired, but it successfully builds suspense in a unique setting with a cool-looking villain.  This one is acceptable for horror fans that are looking for something different.

[Pictured: The film is not without its comedic moments.  This totally happens.]

The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) - 4 stars out of 10

The Beverly Hillbillies (1993) - 4 stars out of 10

“The Beverly Hillbillies” is a zany, family-friendly film adaptation of the iconic 1960’s tv show of the same name.  I use the term family-friendly in a loose sense because the film pushes the boundaries enough that it does not have a clear target audience.  The slapstick comedy is entertaining for all ages and the PG-rating/limited amount of profanity are a strong indicator of a family film; still, the running gag of the country characters mistakenly giving the middle finger to city folk will leave parents with a challenging explanation for their kids.  The critics hated it but it has an enormous appeal for older fans of the original and captures the style of the original in a modern setting.  It makes great use of fast-motion and the Clampetts’ ignorance toward modern conveniences like intercoms and pool tables creates laughs from start to finish.  Most of the film’s issues lie in its overly-cheesy script, though its light tone could be a result of the film’s family-friendly target audience.  The casting crew still managed to successfully replicate the characters from the original series.  Jim Varney (of “Ernest” fame) is a no-brainer for Jed, Diedrich Bader is great as Jethro (and even greater as Jethrine), Cloris Leachman has the perfect comedic timing as Granny, and Erika Eleniak captures the tomboyishness and beauty of Elly May.  New characters are played by Lily Tomlin and Rob Schneider, but I believe that the best performance in this entire film comes from Lea Thompson.  Her French accent is magnifique and she convincingly plays her role within a role.  One of the smartest decisions in this film was to give a cameo to Buddy Ebsen (the original Jed Clampett), but to incorporate him as his other classic character, detective Barnaby Jones.  “The Beverly Hillbillies” has some great comedic moments and clever one-liners, but it will fall short of expectations for fans of the original series and will seem incoherent for everybody else.

[Pictured: The Clampetts are great fun but the film gets trapped somewhere between "family film" and "appealing to the older generation"]

The Last Five Years - 9 stars out of 10

The Last Five Years - 9 stars out of 10

“The Last Five Years” is the type of movie that you have to watch twice before you can fully appreciate it.  I was disappointed after my first viewing but something kept drawing me back to it in the days that followed.  The story was simply too fascinating to stay away.  As the movie progressed the second time through, I fell more and more in love with everything about it.  The nonlinear story structure can be confusing at times but when you reflect on the concept as a whole, it is genius.  You need to be aware that Jamie’s songs move forward chronologically while Cathy’s songs move backward through time.  Aside from being a really cool storytelling technique, it helps to strike a balance between happiness and sadness throughout the story.  If we experienced both characters’ perspectives in a traditional chronological order, the latter half of the film would be unbearably depressing.  That being said, this story is still a complete downer.  I don’t care for all of the strong profanity but, particularly early on, it helps to establish the devastating circumstances of Cathy (since we don’t yet understand how she got to this point).  This two-man show requires a lot from its leads and they are certainly up to the challenge.  Anna Kendrick gives a powerhouse performance, perhaps the best of her career.  Her vocals are impeccable with her recitative style singing perfectly expresses her strong emotions.  Beyond her singing, her facial expressions and body language bring the character to life.  Jeremy Jordan is a bit less impressive but still delivers a memorable performance.  “The Schmuel Song” is his shining moment.  The original stage production calls for the characters to sing their songs as solos and it really comes through in this number.  I find his character to be a little annoying at times, but his voice is golden and he has great chemistry with Kendrick.  The decision to have the characters present for each others’ songs was a smart one in that it develops the chemistry, but they still manage to preserve the solo feel of each number.  Jason Robert Brown’s songs are incredibly catchy and very well-written.  The “na na na” section of Schmuel, the “Jamie-land” sections of A Part of That, and the cleverly-changed lyrics in “When You Come Home To Me” are just a few examples of what I love about this musical.  He even captures the grit of a severe argument in "If I Didn't Believe In You."  There is so much sheer beauty in the melodies throughout the score.  In many of these songs, a lush melodic line suddenly appears midway through and grabs your attention.  The highlight of the entire film is “The Next Ten Minutes,” which is the midpoint of the story and the only song that the leads fully sing together.  Honestly, it is one of my top 5 moments in all of musical theater.  “The Last Five Years” is a refreshing departure from your typical Broadway show, tackling brutally painful content through the shifting optimistic and pessimistic perspectives of its characters.  Even the sad moments are beautiful in a tragic way.  Be prepared for some strong content when you watch this film and realize that you will have to watch it twice to fully absorb its brilliance, but once you do it may change your opinion of modern musicals forever.

[Pictured: This is one film that gets better every time that you watch it]

On the Town (1949) - 6 stars out of 10

On the Town (1949) - 6 stars out of 10

“On the Town” is a film adaptation of the classic Bernstein musical.  This adaptation was subsequently boycotted by Bernstein as the majority of his operatic songs were replaced with Hollywood rewrites.  While this rating is based solely on the quality of the film, I do think that it was a pretty sleazy move by MGM to keep the story but rewrite the music.  One of the only songs that were preserved from the stage show is “New York, New York” (not the Sinatra version that you are thinking of).  Coincidentally, it is the best song in the film and perhaps some of Bernstein’s other pieces would have also been well-received if left in the score.  As a film viewed without relationship to its stage version, “On the Town” is very entertaining.  When you put together the likes of Gene Kelly, Frank Sinatra, Jules Munshin, Ann Miller, Betty Garrett, and Vera-Ellen, a high-energy song-and-dance extravaganza is inevitable.  Much of the story is farfetched but the dance numbers keep us interested while the vocalists steal our hearts.  The cute insult-turned-compliment one-liners of “You’re Awful” are a highlight, as are the tap numbers and the superb “Comedy in Three Acts” ballet sequence that retells the story through dance.  “On the Town” falls short of the classic film musicals (“Singing in the Rain,” “Oklahoma,” “Little Shop”), but it is nice to take a break from the same old shows and remember what it is like to watch a show without knowing all of the lyrics.

[Pictured: You really can't go wrong with this crew]