Battleship - 3 stars out of 10

Battleship - 3 stars out of 10

"Battleship: Stunk."  This film, based on the board game, has nothing to do with the board game.  While 20 minutes of the film do in fact take place on a battleship, I cannot remember the part of the game that involves aliens, burritos, or soccer matches.  If the first 9 minutes of this film didn't warn of the things to come, the aforementioned soccer match certainly did. The film has a few bright spots - the destruction of the John Paul Jones, the stunning set pieces (a.k.a. the non-CGI ships), and the clever sequence that replicates the playing of the board game.  But everything that involved the alien ships looked like a cheap, cartoonish rip-off of the "Transformers" film series.  The acting has the quality of your typical action film and, although Liam Neeson was featured in the previews, he had less than 15 minutes of screen time and could barely be considered a secondary character.  The dialogue is average at best and the plot is quite random.  Let's be realistic - the "alien invasion sci-fi war film" does not generally come with a very high expectation, but the trailer that played during the Super Bowl definitely made me think that this would be the next "Independence Day."  While many of the action sequences were cool, the alien ship just looked too unrealistic for me to get into it.  I do have to admit, it was really funny when the computer geek thought that the paraplegic was half cyborg.  But that was about it for clever dialogue.  The post-credit scene screams sequel, but a sequel will likely lead to screams of protest from the first film's unhappy customers.  "Battleship" isn't bad if you're looking for something mindless to waste a few hours on a Saturday afternoon but overall, this film is a "Miss."

Taking Woodstock - 4 stars out of 10

Taking Woodstock - 4 stars out of 10

"Taking Woodstock" was far from what I expected.  While I was disappointed that the audience never has the opportunity to partake in the actual concert, it was fascinating to see how this historical event turned one man's life and an entire town completely on their heads.  This is a great movie if you want to learn more about Woodstock, though it was only mildly entertaining.  The artistry of the acid trip scene was beautiful... until it got dirty, but it was interesting to see a visual perspective of what one might experience when taking mind-altering drugs.  My final disappointment was the music - I would've loved to hear Hendrix's national anthem or anything by The Who, but they completely glossed over the music performed at Woodstock in favor of Danny Elfman's soundtrack.  I love his film scores, but not when the film is about the biggest rock concert of all time.  This film is not the same thing that the previews would lead you to believe and you need to be prepared for that when you see "Taking Woodstock."

My Dinner with André - 6 stars out of 10

My Dinner with André - 6 stars out of 10

"My Dinner with André" is an iconic film but I struggled to stay awake.  The film is literally a 100-minute long conversation and I would struggle to stay awake listening to two people converse for that long in real life.  In spite of my focus-related struggle, the content of this film is fascinating.  The screenplay by Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn explores a variety of interesting topics, eventually pitting Gregory's over-the-top new age worldview against Shawn's humanist worldview.  The entire film feels very candid and real.  My favorite moment is Gregory's impassioned telling of a Halloween experience in which he was nearly buried alive.  He has such fire in his eyes that you will absolutely believe this to be a true retelling of a life event.  Shawn combats this with a skeptical view of omens, stating that the future must exist now in some form if messages are being sent back to this moment in time.  This film is filled with heavy content brought to life through simple yet interesting cinematography (particularly the mirror in the background that often reveals the characters reactions).  "My Dinner with André" is definitely intended for intellectuals and it manages to inform just as much as it entertains.

Waiting for Guffman - 7 stars out of 10

Waiting for Guffman - 7 stars out of 10

"Waiting for Guffman" is deliriously funny.  This small town's community celebration is highlighted by their extreme lack of talent, all gathered together by the never-famous runaway from Broadway, Corky St. Claire.  Christopher Guest again shows off his ability to weave together an absurd stereotype of a mediocre group of people.  His script is great, but his acting in the lead role is even better as he pulls together a bunch of nitwits and turns them into acting... nitwits.  The amazing thing is that the music from his shoe "Red, White, and Blaine" is actually incredibly catchy and good!  And Lewis Arquette's acting in the show-within-a-show is really impressive.  Guest's standard cast is intact with Eugene Levy as the cross-eyed dentist, Catherine O'Hara and Fred Willard as the married travel agents who have never traveled outside of their small Missouri community and don't have much acting talent, and Bob Balaban as the outcast music director (who ironically/conveniently is the only one with any talent).  Every situation is absolutely absurd and is then exponentially magnified by these clueless characters and their leader.  The cherry on top is the misunderstood arrival of Guffman and subsequent postlude that reveals the theatrical "successes" of the Blaine troupe of actors.  This film will be funny for any viewer but will strike a particular chord with anybody who has ever been involved in a theater production, preferably one that was embarrassingly bad.

What to Expect When You're Expecting - 5 stars out of 10

What to Expect When You're Expecting - 5 stars out of 10

"What to Expect When You're Expecting" is deserving of it's average 5-star rating.  There isn't anything wrong with the movie, but there isn't really anything great about it either.  You would expect a lot more from a cast composed of popular actors but it eventually turns into a collection of cameos.  The highlight of the film for me is Anna Kendrick.  She is cute as a button as usual but has a chance to tap into that emotional side that we got to see in "Up In The Air."  The devastation on her face is chilling and I found her story to be the most realistic (and most enjoyable) of the film.  The characters have loose connections to each other but the writers never really capitalize on this.  Their paths have limited crossings and the plot feels disjointed because of it.    J-Lo is still looking good, Cameron Diaz is not, and the male actors don't add much.  Their interactions with their pregnant significant others are good but every scene with the "dude group" creates more annoyance than entertainment.  This film is more of a dramedy than a chick flick so its target audience can probably be found watching Lifetime Original Movies.  I can't call it a great film but it's worth watching for Anna Kendrick's smile.