Battleship - 3 stars out of 10

Battleship - 3 stars out of 10

"Battleship: Stunk."  This film, based on the board game, has nothing to do with the board game.  While 20 minutes of the film do in fact take place on a battleship, I cannot remember the part of the game that involves aliens, burritos, or soccer matches.  If the first 9 minutes of this film didn't warn of the things to come, the aforementioned soccer match certainly did. The film has a few bright spots - the destruction of the John Paul Jones, the stunning set pieces (a.k.a. the non-CGI ships), and the clever sequence that replicates the playing of the board game.  But everything that involved the alien ships looked like a cheap, cartoonish rip-off of the "Transformers" film series.  The acting has the quality of your typical action film and, although Liam Neeson was featured in the previews, he had less than 15 minutes of screen time and could barely be considered a secondary character.  The dialogue is average at best and the plot is quite random.  Let's be realistic - the "alien invasion sci-fi war film" does not generally come with a very high expectation, but the trailer that played during the Super Bowl definitely made me think that this would be the next "Independence Day."  While many of the action sequences were cool, the alien ship just looked too unrealistic for me to get into it.  I do have to admit, it was really funny when the computer geek thought that the paraplegic was half cyborg.  But that was about it for clever dialogue.  The post-credit scene screams sequel, but a sequel will likely lead to screams of protest from the first film's unhappy customers.  "Battleship" isn't bad if you're looking for something mindless to waste a few hours on a Saturday afternoon but overall, this film is a "Miss."