The Cabin in the Woods - 1 star out of 10

The Cabin in the Woods - 1 star out of 10

I don't know what the critics are talking about - this may be one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life!  At least films like "Birdemic" and "The Room" are laughable - this one just completely missed its mark.  This is literally one of the worst movie concepts that I have ever seen.  It's as if they tried to remake "The Truman Show" into a horror film.  I get what they were trying to do, but they accidentally turned it into a splatter comedy instead of the horror film that was advertised.  This film could have been so cool if they created a stereotypical horror film and then turned it on its head with a complete perspective change; instead, the entire horror story takes place within the skewed perspective and doesn't provide any scares.  Since the overarching concept is revealed to the audience from the start, the story within the story is not scary at all.  Maybe the writers weren't going for chills, but that was the expectation and it failed miserably.  More than anything, I was annoyed for the duration of the film.  Perhaps the only redeeming quality is the previously unknown Kristen Connolly.  Aside from being incredibly attractive, she creates the only character worth caring about.  I was surprised to see Richard Jenkins in this film.  He's too good of an actor to subscribe to this garbage.  And let's throw Sigourney Weaver in at the very end to make this seem like a legit scary movie.  I'm not a fan of films that subscribe to the philosophy of "The more f-words, the better" and I'm also not a fan of scary movies that aren't scary.  Maybe I'll like it better the second time around when I'm not expecting a scary movie... but for now, this is definitely in contention for the most disappointing movie that I have ever seen.

The Ring - 10 stars out of 10

The Ring - 10 stars out of 10
 
"The Ring" is one of my Top 10 scary movies of all time.  This movie has such an original plot and combines creepy and scary into a wonderfully horrific sequence of images that you will be seeing every time that the lights go out.  When first seeing this, I truly felt terror running through my veins.  This movie creeps me out every time that I watch it and, although it isn't the jumpiest or most disgusting movie in the world, it has that "terror factor."  Gore Verbinski directs the perfect timing to tug at your every nerve.  The cast is great, particularly from the raw acting skill of the gorgeous Naomi Watts to the intensity of Daveigh Chase's eyes (hard to believe that she is also the voice of Lilo)!  David Dorfman brings realism to the character of Aidan (I am getting chills just thinking of him drawing those pictures) and I love Brian Cox in any film.  After watching the original "Ringu," it gave me a greater appreciation for the American remake.  Though the quick cut scenes made me jump, I feel that the American version is much more intense through Hans Zimmer's genius soundtrack.  The American version is more emotionally engaging as Aidan is much more involved.  Though the Japanese version better describes how the people are killed, the overall plot of the American version is more in depth and in the end, I just felt like more happened through the course of the American version.  The music alone is enough to give you nightmares - add in the horrific images and you're in for a real treat!

Ringu - 6 stars out of 10

Ringu - 6 stars out of 10

"Ringu" gave me a greater appreciation for the American remake.  Though the quick cut scenes made me jump, I feel that the American version is much more intense through Hans Zimmer's soundtrack.  The Samara in this original Japanese version is more grotesque, highlighting her fingernails that have been ripped off, but overall the American version is more emotionally engaging as the son is much more involved in the story.  Though this version better describes how the people are killed, the overall plot of the American version goes more in depth and in the end, I just felt like more happened through the course of the American version.  It's definitely worth a watch, but more as a supplement to "The Ring" than as a substitute for it.

Halloween (1978) - 5 stars out of 10

Halloween (1978) - 5 stars out of 10

I guess that I was a bit let down by "Halloween," since it is often applauded as one of the best horror movies.  I had high expectations so I was disappointed by the slow pace for the first 75 minutes and lack of graphic violence.  The final 20 minutes were really intense and Jamie Lee Curtis has an incredible scream.  However, for me it was not worth sitting through the rest of the movie for this short amount of intensity.  See it because it's a classic, but don't expect to see the pure terror that we've become accustomed to with modern horror movies.

The Ramen Girl - 9 stars out of 10

The Ramen Girl - 9 stars out of 10

You will definitely enjoy and appreciate "The Ramen Girl" if you've ever traveled to a foreign country, didn't speak the language, and were unable to understand the people surrounding you.  A lot of the comedy in this movie comes from those cultural and language barriers.  Brittany Murphy is adorable and perfect for this role.  Though I hate the obligatory "main actress jumping and dancing around scene" in many movies of this style, after all of the tension created throughout the movie, this scene is necessary and (dare I say) enjoyable.  Even without speaking English, Maezumi is a deep and dynamic character whom the audience can easily identify and empathize with.  The insults and comments hurled back and forth between characters (without the other understanding) are hysterical, with my favorite line being "I don't' understand you and would you stop hitting me."  And it ends just right.  I can't promise that you'll love it but if you've traveled abroad, you will definitely be entertained.  R.I.P. Brittany Murphy, this was one of your best films.

Varsity Blues - 3 stars out of 10

Varsity Blues - 3 stars out of 10

While I like the fact that "Varsity Blues" questions the emphasis placed on sports in high school and the extent to which athletes are glorified by the community, I believe that this movie sends some poor messages.  It is sad to see this community turn a blind eye to the drinking of these high school athletes and even allow them to steal a police car without consequence in order to make sure that they are on the field Friday night.  I understand that they are making a point about the special treatment of these athletes, but it was a bit over the top that the police would allow these things to occur because of intimidation from the coach.  I love sports as much as (if not more than) the next guy, but this film really does a nice job of questioning our country's idolization of sports.  While I appreciated that idea, I did not like the message that high schoolers can do the aforementioned things (in addition to getting drunk at strip bars, disrespecting their parents, driving under the influence, etc.) and still succeed in the end.  It also sickened me that one of the characters is a teacher who moonlights as a stripper and, after bumping into her students at a show, has no worries because the boys promise not to tell.  What a poor reflection of educators, although that is more often the case in movies than not.  Jon Voight is an excellent villain as the coach who cares more about a state championship than the well-being of his students and Ali Larter is hotter than ever as the head cheerleader (who ends up having more depth than you would expect), but outside of that the acting is average at best.  "Varsity Blues" is an interesting film because I like one of the messages that it sends, but it's not worth it for the underage drinking, nudity, and crime that it portrays as being acceptable.

Rounders (1998) - 8 stars out of 10

Rounders (1998) - 8 stars out of 10
750th Review

"Rounders" is an awesome insight into the Poker world.  The film has a strong cultural relevance as Texas Hold 'Em has become so popular over the past decade.  Aside from loving it for its great portrayal of Poker, the acting is superb.  Matt Damon is at his finest as the ice-veined poker strategist, Gretchen Mol is charming as Jo, Edward Norton latches onto that scummy role where you can't help but despise him, and John Turturro is cool as ever.  But it doesn't stop there - Martin Landau and Famke Janssen have small roles while John Malkovich steals the show as Russian mobster Teddy "KGB."  The writers do a great job of creating a plot that relies on Poker, rather than just having it be incorporated without much at stake.  The character development is so good that the audience feels the stress of each Poker match.  I also love how they incorporate real World Series of Poker, Johnny Chan, and other famous Texas Hold 'Em players into the plot.  Whether you are a Poker fan or not, anybody can go all-in on this dramatic and win.