Swamp Thing - 1 star out of 10

Swamp Thing - 1 star out of 10

Wes Craven has created some of the most memorable horror films in history, such as "A Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Scream."  He has also created one of the least memorable films in history, taking the form of "Swamp Thing."  EVERY THING about this film is utterly ridiculous.  For starters, the concept is ridiculous and pointless.  Allow me to quote Wikipedia's synopsis of the film: "Dr. Holland is covered in chemicals, caught on fire, and runs screaming in the swamp, presumably to die, but returns as a monstrously mutated plant creature."  I could probably just end this review right here, but where's the fun in that?  There have been many heroes in film throughout the years but Swamp Thing is one of the least interesting.  He has a bland personality (if you could even consider it a personality) and for some reason, he suddenly talks like a caveman once he becomes Swamp Thing.  When this is paired with an over-usage of slow motion, random unnecessary nudity, bad acting, and a terrible script, it is difficult to find a single redeeming moment.  I had high hopes for the final transformation as it began in its gory goodness... and then it became the fakest looking thing that I've ever seen.  It looks like someone showed up to a Halloween party wearing a wolf mask from the Dollar Store... and a sword.  And when there's a sword involved... uh-oh, chick randomly stabbed in the boob... now Swamp Thing is mad.  These are the expectations that you need to have before tuning in this horrendous film.  But consider yourself warned.