Shark Night 3D - 1 star out of 10

Shark Night 3D - 1 star out of 10

"Shark Night 3D" is terrible.  Terrible characters, terrible acting, terrible screenplay, terrible editing, and it very well may be the worst story ever written.  In fact, the main draw of this film is its violent shark attacks and they couldn't even get THAT right!  It fails to provide the gruesome shark deaths desired by its target audience in order to keep it at a PG-13 rating, allowing high schoolers to throw their money away at the box office.  The only attack deserving of this film's concept is Katharine McPhee's scene with the cookie cutter sharks - the rest cut away or don't show anything, which works in a Jaws-esque film but not in a movie masqueraded as a shock-inducing gorefest.  And even when they show the sharks, it appears that the producers WANTED them to look like they were CGI (but don't get me wrong, this is nowhere near "Birdemic" standards).  Bad acting has been socially acceptible in horror films as long as they provide a few screams, but the poor acting was absurd in this one.  It borders on comedy (again, nowhere near "Birdemic" standards).  The bad acting certainly is a lot more humorous than their pitiful attempts at comedy, like their reinactment of "March of the Penguins."  I just felt dirty watching this film, realizing that I'd been exploited by Hollywood businessmen with their epitome of cheap 3D tricks (even more than "My Bloody Valentine", which actually contained a few scary moments).  They could have at least put these 3D tricks into a movie that didn't have the worst plot ever.  It's as if a few writers sat around and said "Let's make a 3D movie where a group of teens gets eaten by sharks."  "How are we going to justify having all of these sharks around?"  "Hmm... the guys from 'Deliverance' decide to surround an island with various species of sharks, you know, so that it's educational?  OH!  And the sharks are wearing cameras and filming live deaths for Shark Week on the Discovery Channel?"  "You. Are. A. GENIUS!!!!!!!!!!"  The entire film is predictable and boring despite its constant shark attacks.  In the end, everybody gets what the deserve.  Including the audience, for paying to see such a crappy movie.  Thank goodness this film was only 85 minutes long.