In honor of the 10th anniversary of Disney’s Hannah Montana, I unwillingly bring a review of “Hannah Montana: The Movie” and a remembrance of the preteen pop culture phenomenon. I use the term “unwillingly” because that is how I was subjected to the film but it honestly was not as bad as I expected. It has everything that you would expect from a Disney follow-up to one of its original tv series’. There are cheesy family moments, original songs by the cast members, cameos (Rascall Flatts, Tyra Banks, and an almost-famous-but-not-yet-mega-star Taylor Swift), a predictable love story, painfully convenient coincidences to further the plot, rodents down pants, a quirky villain who gets beat up in slapstick ways, and a cheesy ending that can only be acceptable in a Disney film. I’ve never seen an episode of the show but the film works as a stand-alone story, as long as you understand the basic premise of the series. The writing and acting is more on par with a tv-movie than with a theatrical feature. The highlight of the film is Margo Martindale as Miley’s grandmother. She makes the most out of this average script and it’s easy to see that her acting ability is beyond her costars. One of the things that really struck me while watching this film in a modern context is how far Miley Cyrus has fallen. It is truly sad. She used to be a positive role model for young girls but the only example that she is setting these days is to honor the show’s anniversary by watching the series and playing a drinking game in which you take a shot every time that someone says her name. She also commented that Hannah Montana is chopped up in little pieces and buried in her backyard. I pray that the generation that grew up with this show will leave it in the past. Their children do not need to watch reruns and look up to Miley, only to later discover her repulsive transformation into the anti-moral example that is the opposite of what we should teach our children and teenagers. “Hannah Montana: The Movie” isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen but it falls short of other Disney theatrical releases like “High School Musical 3” and “The Lizzie McGuire Movie.” There was a time for this show and feature film, but it has all been spoiled by the negative transformation of Miley Cyrus. As she said, Hannah was chopped up into little pieces and buried. For the sake of future generations, that’s where she should remain.
[Pictured: The film would be much better if we didn't have to know what Miley later became. And if it had a different script and featured Margo Martindale the entire time.]