Sunday, November 6, 2011

Jason X - 1 star out of 10

Jason X - 1 star out of 10

"This sucks on so many levels!" These words of warning are contained in the very script of "Jason X," one of the worst horror movies ever made. The horribly written characters of this film basically translate into The Breakfast Club in space with Jason. Yes, that's right: in space. And did I mention that it is 450 years in the future? Let me save you some time - Jason is on a spaceship with a bunch of people from the future and he kills all of them. I really wish that I was making this up. If the horrible concept wasn't enough, this film is filled with absurd one-liners that place the film in limbo somewhere between comedy and slasher film. When you use the line "He's screwed" to describe a character who was killed by falling onto a giant drill, you know that the writers are just making fun of the film. Did I mention that it takes place in space? The only redeeming quality (and I use that term very loosely) is the casting of Lexa Doig, who is VERY nice to look at. But what is the point when you keep on shooting something at close range and he just gets back up and kills you? If there is no realistic (or even unrealistic) way to kill the villain, the plot disappears and you are left with 90 minutes of a guy in a hockey mask killing a bunch of people and then some closing credits. It isn't even scary because the idea of Jason running around on a spaceship is so ludicrous. Oh yeah, by the way, they are in space. "Jason X" is laughable and truly a testament to the fact that the writers have given up on this film franchise and decided that the only way to make any more money off of it is by turning it into a joke. It certainly has fallen a long way since the 80's. And just to warn you, this movie takes place in outer space.

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